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26 Corny, Funny Jokes for Teens That Will (Briefly) Stop the Eye Rolls

They're not such a tough audience if you have the right jokes.

Julia Barnes for Fatherly

If getting a laugh out of a teen was as easy as eliciting an eye roll, we wouldn’t need articles like this. But we all know how that goes. These corny jokes are more mature than your average popsicle-stick knock-knock joke, but still family-friendly.  You can pull them out during dinner, while competing for attention with your teen’s phone, or during carpool. Just don’t use them all at once.

Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.

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Q. How do you drown a Hipster?
A. In the mainstream.

Q. Why do rappers need umbrellas?
A. Fo’ drizzle.

Q. What did the grape say when he was pinched?
A. Nothing, he gave a little wine.

Q. Why aren’t Koalas actual bears?
A. They don’t meet the koalifications.

Q. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A. It gets toad away.

Q. What do you call bears with no ears?
A. B

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
A: An envelope

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It’s okay. He woke up.

Q. What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
A. They’re both red except for the green one.

Q. How did the hipster burn his mouth?
A. He ate the pizza before it was cool.

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.

Q: Why couldn’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: She kept running away from the ball.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.

Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: A creek.

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.

Q: What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
A: Ouch!

Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

Knock Knock
Who’s There?
To Who?
It’s to whom.

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.